Getting the momentum back
August 20, 2007
One problem that challenges every coach is the loss of momentum. Whether it’s the summer vacation period, an intense work project that takes you or your colleague out of action for a period of time, or just that occasional and unavoidable scheduling blip, we all face times when the coaching relationship feels stalled, like a sailboat stuck in the middle of the lake on a calm day.
What to do? Start with where you left off. This is when you’ll be thankful that you take notes during meetings with the person you’re coaching. And if you send a little summary note after your sessions, you’ll give another sigh of thanks. At the very least, this gives you a place to start. After catching up on whatever has happened since last talking, you can simply say, “When I look at my notes from our earlier conversations, it looks like we left off by talking about … What’s the update on that issue?”
At this point, you may get a blank stare. Remember, if you feel like the sail is slack, your colleague probably does too. Don’t fear. If that happens, back up a bit further. Review why that issue was important to the person being coached in the first place. Then ask a simple checking question. Something like this might work: “So given all that we just reviewed, how critical is that issue to achieving your goals?”
In the guise of getting started again, you’re doing something very important. You’re bringing the summary of your whole coaching approach right back to the front of mind for you and your colleague, and you’re re-contracting to focus on this issue (or not!).
Whether your colleague jumps back on board that issue or chooses to re-direct your work together, the gentle breeze of momentum should be filling the sails.
What else do you do to re-capture momentum in coaching relationships?
Popular advice you shouldn’t take
August 15, 2007
A recent Wall Street Journal article listed financial tips that you shouldn’t take. It got me thinking about all of the trouble we can avoid by just steering clear of conventional wisdom when it’s not so wise after all.
If you spend enough time in the sales function, you’ll hear a lot of advice. It’s often passed on from grizzled veteran to young kid. Much of it is wonderful. Some of it is bunk.
Take article of faith #1: Always be closing. I read about this rule in college when taking a class on persuasion. But after selling for fifteen years and being around more sales functions than I can count in my consulting work, I think it’s misguided. And here’s why: customers (or prospects, as the case may be) expect it! As soon as they realize that your role is to develop busy, they get ready to play familiar roles in an ancient drama: you pursue them desperately and they play hard to get. You try to take them for a ride and they watch their wallets. And so on…
Of course, some business developers act differently, but they are surprisingly rare. And this makes them stand out all the more.
So instead of always closing, always ask yourself, “Can I (or my firm) make a significant contribution to this person/company’s goals? Are they a good fit for us? Will they end up being enthusiastic references for our work – and would we like working for the kinds of people who they send our way?”
This attitude puts you, the “salesperson,” into the role of skeptic instead of forcing the customer to do it. That role reversal, surprising as it is to the customer, often changes the whole dynamic in the relationship. Trust usually rises. And paradoxically, prospects often end up chasing you. (Not always! But more often than you might think.)
What does your own experience tell you? How do you react to salespeople who are always pushing vs. those who offer help, but with an eye on your interests above all?
Dirty Word #9 – Gratitude
August 13, 2007
I just returned from the Breast Cancer Three-Day walk in Chicago. Besides nursing blisters bigger than I had imagined possible, I’m taking away another very important thought from the experience. And that’s the power of gratitude.
Over the course of three days, about 3000 of us walked 60 miles on the blistering streets of Chicago and its suburbs. The walkers were impressive – how many people will voluntarily raise $2000+, pay their own way to the event, and then endure significant discomfort for a cause? One lady even finished the second day of walking in her socks because she couldn’t get her shoes on over her blisters. Personal suffering, loss, and – most importantly – love can motivate us beyond our normal levels.
But even more powerful to me were the hundreds, maybe thousands, of people who lined the streets, honked their horns, or volunteered tens of hours to cheer us on. I knew that would happen, but I was particularly surprised by the words most often said to us sweaty, foot-sore walkers.
Thank you.
These thanks were not the automatic, throw-away thanks we so often give and receive in the course of our days. Many people thanked us with tears in their eyes. Others offered us gifts: lollipops, sprays of water, half-melted ice cream sandwiches. The thought counted more than the tokens.
My dad often says, “Gratitude is not a common human fault.” My experience in the world of work bears that out. True, pure gratitude is rare. And it is powerful. It builds relationships, lifts people up, and motivates them to even greater heights.
Who needs your thanks today? It will cost you little and be worth a lot.