Dirty Word Reprise – Thanks
February 27, 2008
Some time ago, I wrote about the amazing power of gratitude - how it’s an inexpensive and priceless way to connect to and motivate people. Today, I got to be on the receiving end…
I got a call today from a client. I’ve had the privilege of working with him over the past several years, during which time he’s gone from stalled in his career path to being promoted to a very important new role. He called me after reaching his one-year mark in this new post to tell me that he had just finished his performance review and had gotten rave reviews.
The unusual thing was that he took time out to call me (very few clients do this, and I do it for very few suppliers) – and to thank me for the role I had played in his success. I’m perfectly convinced that he did all of the hard work on his own. He’s the one who made significant changes in his approach to work. He’s the one who planned and executed a solid first year.
But he thanked me anyway.
This was a kind gesture, but it was also a savvy move. I believe he’s sincere and now I want to help him even more. When he calls for more help, I’ll not just think that it’s another piece of business. I’ll (subconsciously) think that it’s another chance to help him succeed and to get thanked for it.
Just another example of how powerful gratitude can be as a motivational tool. Here’s a challenge for you – whom can you surprise by thanking them? Who wouldn’t expect it from you, but would find it very motivating?
Why not go out and do it?
I dare you…
February 25, 2008
In the past few weeks, I’ve had the chance to interview a bunch of smart, young professionals about what it takes to be a “manager of choice.” Most of us can’t choose our manager. (Neither can they.) But there is plenty of research that says that a large proportion of staff satisfaction comes from the quality of interaction with their managers.
I’ll share more about the results of these interviews later, but one thing struck me right away when I reviewed my notes. Almost all of these professionals talked about how self-critical they are and how much they value receiving positive feedback when they do something right. These are all high-performers, not sniveling low-lifes.
When I dug deeper on this issue, they talked about two reasons for the feedback: first, it feels good. Nothing wrong with that! But more importantly, it helps them learn faster. In other words, they notice faster that they’re doing something right and they can extend that proficiency and confidence to other tasks.
So I’ve started challenging some of my leadership clients with a simple dare: I dare you to try to over-do the positive feedback thing. Only two rules: the feedback must be true (people hate sucking up even more than “hard graders”) and it must be specific. “Good job” isn’t as useful as “I noticed that your summary of that point was clear and concise. I think our client will quickly get what we’re trying to say here.”
Anyone want to take the dare?
When perfection weighs too much
February 6, 2008
OK, one last Super Bowl thing (I promise). Much has been written and blabbed about the heavy weight of history on the backs of the wildly talented and incredibly successful Patriots. You don’t go 18-1 without doing a lot of things right.
It’s possible that the whole perfection thing, and its impact on the Patriots in the Super Bowl, has been over-rated. But it does match my experience working with highly successful people in the business and non-profit worlds. In fact, one of the common themes discussed by highly talented professionals when they describe leaders of choice is both a demand for the best possible and a patience with the imperfection that comes from learning. Leave either behind at your peril if you want to attract and retain the best people.
When perfection is the standard, people tend to lose joy in what they’re doing as they ratchet up the pressure to be flawless. Pursuing one’s best, excellence, is only a slight change in perspective from perfectionism, but you can see in the eyes and hear in the voice of those who do so a much looser, optimistic approach.
At the risk of going against the “if you don’t win it all, you’re a loser” grain, I found myself gaping when everyone joined the chorus of “18-1 means nothing if you don’t win the Super Bowl.” I get the general idea – the Patriots set out to win the championship, not all the games up until the big game. But to say it means nothing? Come on!
Ask any player on any of the average teams who failed to make the playoffs if they’d swap places with the Patriots – to taste excellence, if not perfection. I’d guess you’d have to quickly get out of the way of the blitz of players who would run across that line if offered the chance.
My parents used to say “perfection is the enemy of excellence.” I think they were right (again!).
It just goes to show you…
February 4, 2008
OK, first an important point of context: when I was about six years old, I got an autographed picture of Pete Gogolak. For any of you who don’t know him (that would be most of you!), he was the place kicker for New York Giants during their particularly dismal years in the early 70s. The fact that he’s the Giants’ all-time leading scorer only masks the fact that in my earliest memory, he was often the Giants’ only scorer since they rarely found the end zone.
So I was pretty happy to see the Giants win last night. But buried beneath all of the post-game hype was an intriguing sub-plot to the unlikely rise of the Giants.
Tom Coughlin, the Giants’ head coach, is notoriously old school. I won’t bore you with the details since they’ve been well documented by sports journalists. The important fact is that his approach simply wasn’t working the last few years. He alienated players, grated on the media, and nearly lost his job. He was in charge of an under-achieving team in a big market.
After the Super Bowl, Coughlin was interviewed by a reporter who brought up the changes the coach had made this season to get his team back on track. While the details of that change are interesting (click here to read a little more about it), I was struck by two other aspects of his supposed transformation. First, he did it later in life. Coughlin’s not a rookie coach – he’s been around coaching for around forty years. But he decided to change his long-established patterns and, at least to some extent, was successful.
The second thing that hits me: he made the changes because he found something he cared deeply about, something that motivated him to change. No management guru convinced him. As far as we know, he didn’t just want to be nicer for its own sake. Instead, he became convinced that he had to change if he wanted a chance to lead a team to a championship.
It just goes to show you that when we can find someone’s natural motivation, they are capable of extraordinary changes. Think about it – how could you help someone in your team find that sort of motivation?